Medina - You and I

There is no longer
You and I

Having those days where you get frustrated or paranoid with things or either people around you . It really suck badly, unbearable cramps dang! Anyways i was feeling abit off , the rain doesn't stop but it's a good good things can snuggle in the blanky and get some shut eyes. Other then getting a text from my bf made my day somehow , uncle delicious cooking and havingalot of family quality ime wih my dad and uncle . Oh man feelng kinda bloated though....T-T i have to chillax hahas .. Rights gotta sleep trm need wake up early for work , done texting bf , done blogging now , done updating facebook, so now it's time for me to say Goodnights to ya all ... NIGHTS! :))) have a effing day guys!

Hot Enrique Iglesias :)

One word to decribe him SEXY.. aww even after so many years he is still hot hot hot then ever. loving the the song by enrique -Tonight ( i'm F***king you) but radio edit it became LOVING you lols in either ways still the the original pieces .Psssshhh! so what if his songs starting to get kinky atleast he's happening , is not wrong for him to flaunt his sexuallity.You can't blame him for being God dam sexy and hot. still love him and his song :) god dammit i want watch burqeles , need find my buddies to watch it with me .. !

I don't do this anymore , i thought about it and i just want to stick with one instead. I'm waiting for result 21 feb audition i need to focus about that, i'm distracted and i don't want to play myself out like that . So it best i play low profile . I guess now i understand the guilt that i'm feeling all i want to do is run but no i decided to face it . Yes there are people gonna pull me down but i don't think that gonna stop me but i want change for the better starting today . :)

In life you can't always get what you one but when you achieve it it's possible . When it comes to a situation like love it's likely tend to fail alot ,Why? because you need two hands to clap so both of parties need that mutural understandings and acceptant in each others characteristic. It's just plain sad to see that nowdays some people won't even bothered to fight for love , is more likely about physical contact and just go . I mean can't blame anyone cause we ourselves as singaporean living in an environment tha is much open to most of the things example like if you want to find any teenage aldultary or dating an older guy or doing simply anything stupid is totally normal . People simply are having casual sex without the "love " going on there, it's partically normal now . So i was wondering to myself when would i feel love again not just some fling or that nonsense but the emotion and feeling that only the heart can feel , that can take your breath away . Always think the positive side of my life , like the youtuber davey wavey he said that before you could love someoneelse you have to love yourself first and it's true . Yea , i felt the loneliness that cause boredness but i'll have to start appreciating life and remember in the end of the road i have to face everything alone noone gonna help me but myself :) God give me strength and faith to walk tru this journey but i hope that i would make it tru and find love, i believe . Not all hope is gone even in this world that we live in even a slightest drop of hope is still there helps alot knowling there are still people out there who believe that love exist it would never die , t's just a test . God gave us brain to think but only we can decided to make things better or worse.
Beliving is one thing
But trying your best may not be everything
Doing what you think that is te best for you with lots of hardwork
You can achieve anything.

Believing in oneself .

So here's how things goes , it seems like this few day it kept on raining so it's agood thing . Then went out with Simon and get to know him er... his alright i guess. So somehow i felt bad and upset cause i miss kian but just angry with him for the moment . He stll text and misses me alot so that made my day :) but with simon the other hand his a nice guy , fun to talk with , laught alot but sensitive in heart lead to misunderstanding and unrelevant small arguement and it's only been like 3 days with him and things going bitter side . He does call and text me but it just felt different when i with kian i guess . However i try to see how things process further cause i'm still unsure about himself as a person , i'm about to expereience the negative side of him but looking at the small picture of him it look quite nasty . Well noone perfect but it doesn't stop me from trying mybest to understand him i guess , everyone has thier own flawless and i have to accept that even i myself made lots of mistakes and intend to be silly at times not knowling hurt someone . I apologies thought my wrong doings , 2011 is much different cause i wanted tobe someone whose more open in a sense of not being so over paranoid , let have more trust and also ambitious for my future . Just today i log in to Firendster for after so donkey years i realised how much i've grown over the past years . When you start to grow maturely you seem to think differently and with every problem you would try to resolve it instead of letting it hanging and builts up. I, myself plead guilty for not being honest ever since i experience pain and lots hurt .The only person i've trust is myself and my uncle . i have alot of bad habits that i can't deny some are just atrociously bad hahas .. but in a process of recovery. Now it's the best time for me to make alot of mistakes and learn from it that's the only way i would grow to a much better and resilent person . Making the best out of each day and feeling the belonging in life , thinking positive and accept ownself weakness and good points would take you far . I'm just waiting for the call or email to take my extrance exams then soon i'll be having auditions but during my spare time i got bored because blame it myself that i've turn abit lazy mentally so i decided to draw and do something that can help me motivate myself not be lazy bum . Praticing my voice , doing some arts and also alot of writing , even reading . Future is set is all up to me to make it happen for good.

When all ends fail , don't lose hope
Stand up and try again.

God bless and Nights!

i won't apologies it's ur fault for not informing me about us so i went out with somebodyelse who can treat me right . You're lost!

Woah , i'm getting paranoid . Been staring at phone waiting for ur text or call, goodness the only text i've been getting it's from my friends either asking me out to party , drink or sing k box this sat night . So yea , you said to me we'll watch and spend time together on weekends but hell no u tell me that u with your friends cause his came from malaysia . Alright then i understad that part so i told u to enjoy yourself but if u can't make it tell me cause the time is ticking and still there's no respond from u . Don't left me hanging , the longer it gets i just feel like wearing my heels , dress up and party with my friends just distract u from my head. Come on don't give me indian promises ar didn't expect a guy like has it's asian side lols! The clock strike 9 pm and u still not respnding i'm sorry i'm going out somewhere else.

One door close the others open

First it was three guys and slowly i eliminate them one by one , chinese indo , Spanish indian and now left middle east guy mixed canada . Recently i find that i couldn't clicked with the spanish one so i broke up with him now i got hook up with the south africa one and yes i'm not so attached cause it's "an open relationship " but i still date around to find the right one but i still love my canada bf . I guess i could never blame anyone but myself and maybe it's true sometime u can love more than one , i learn form the person who i used to love but now just friends . Thanks to him. :)On monday going school pay fee and i'm up to walk this journey maybe i can have both future and love ^-^

There are times i felt that things just can't seem to be control but instead it became out of control. If things goes as plan then the world would be too perfect . How i wish it was but hey with all the imperfection i somehow learn alot out of it.
Wish me luck alright soon i'm taking entrance exam for NAFA .. i can't tell you the coure i'm taking first when i get in it would be the bomb alright :) all i need is hard work and determination not just luck i believe. I miss my boyfriend alot but he seems to be @@@#@@$$@$@@$!!!! guys what do you expect nothing much but heartache ...
Alright i gotta focus on work holla !!

"@@$%##%%&@@@!!" (censored)
Quote the top part , just felt alot of frustration . There's nothing wrong with my life , my love life , family , friends or myself . Maybe it's just one of those days , mood swings . There's alot of work to be done , decision making especially for tomorrow. Somehow i need to inquiry about school that i'm intending too. Just see how things goes , with every problems there's a solution for it. I guess i need to settle it one by one first . Abit upset cause i will be spending less time with my boyfriend , less partying cause of studies and work .. Just this wed i saw him and spend time together but it wasn't enough .Missssing him alot, must tell myself to be strong shit, I'm going to miss him much more 10xxxxxx!!! when his going back to his hometown :(( march his going for a one month trip back to his country and be back on April . Sigh* when there's work to be done , can't do anything about it but to just suck it up and finish it as soon asap. It's getting late i better get some shut eyes .

Eshgh whenever i misses you all i need to do is hug the soft toy that you gave me for christmas , it may never felt the same as the warmness of hugs , sweet smile and kisses whenever we meet but as long as it's something that has you written on it , given or even a memory it's somehow became a part of u that i can keep for my ownself to remember . <3 u!

Nights all :)


Nights everyone :O!

So been busy for the past few days , like i mention sending uncle to the doctors for a check up's .. And yea the movie "Meet the little Fockers " is a must watch very funny and entertaining . Bf been busy with school and work =.=" didn't have time to celebrate 1 month anniversary .. goshhhh but it's alright wha u expect from someone taking a PHD ..i had a great time though with my darls of course gib me cute soft toy baby goofy ^________^ me like and adoreeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! So i was planning to watch " LOVE and OTHER Drug " if i'm not wrong about the title ... hopefully we'll catch it hahasssss..
Alright gotta sleep i guess tomorrow gonna be along day for me , night night everyone !!

New life , new self , A brand new day for each days i woke up in th morning. New resolution earn money , study hard , party hard hahas :D must enjoy life to the fullest of course one way or another we would make many mistakes but we'll learn from it be stronger each day. Main motive is to think positive and make the best out of it. Alright later gotta go meet Kian for a movie it's been 1 week plus i could see my bf , miss him alot though . Then on tuesday gonna have a new look (reffering to my lion hair hahas , new hair cut ) wednesday companying my uncle to the doctors , then thurs, fri and sun work work work sat chillax with my bestfriends :) soon next next week start school . There's alot of things that i want but i'll have to take baby steps to reach my goal . Slow and steady win the race so they said ...
Hope this 2011 is one of the best year for me then again it's all up to me to make it the best for myself .."Hardwork" hahas ..
Happy New Year Guys !! Wohooooooo....
May God bless ...